i'm so screeeeewed for my midterm. but not because my mind is fresh with freshly sqeezed information. gotta pray pray pray & keep on with my achronyms. SO MY MOM IS TOO RELIGIOUS! meaning that the hellenistic age was a great age for Greek Science, Machines, Math (Archemedes), Industry, Trade & RELIGION as a power. and SPARTA IS a MESSE HELL with 7 sins & MAJOR SEX! so hot they need H20... HA! which means sparta is an idealistic society, they took over Messenia and made the Helots their slaves, who outnumbered them 7 to 1, so they treated them like crap to keep them in check. They were a Militant Society that linked Healthy babies to Healthy Women and were the only Greek Society to have Female olympics... they also were very HOMOSEXUAL and promoted ADULTERY! aaaaaaaahahaha awesome. okay, last one. so The Athenian's era of Democracy was more like an Oligarchy (rule of the few) which was R.U.D.E. Meaning that it was Radical (1 man = 1 vote), it gave power to the Uneducated Masses, you had to watch out for the Demogogues (those that could sway you with their words) and the Ekklesia was a main body (made up of adult males 18 & over.

i'm gonna kill it.

it's my problem: period.

i have a strong personality. yes, i do. and as uncle ben so cleverly & righteously cautioned peter "with great power comes great responsibility". as the youngest girl in my immediate family and in my wide range of loveable cousins, i was raised to stand out, to hold my own, to make my own name for myself and not just get lost in the mix. i'm competitive, i'm direct and i actually have a pretty clever wit when you get passed all my "you're face is stupid" love taps. but beyond all that, i'm proudest of the fact that i'm absolutely unashamed of admitting that even though my very being is aimed towards always choosing the higher road, and challenging stupidity head on, i feel such a loss of control in dealing with pressure, temptation and hurt every frickin time i'm on my stupid frickin period.

i may be just making excuses, but my susceptibility to weakness is horrendous every time aunt flow visits. it's almost as if Satan himself recognizes this and attacks me most when my ego is shot and my tears are ready to run rampid. sensitive, sensitive, sensitive. my feelings get the best of me and even when JE's extra generous, Justin's super duper comforting, the otherwise selfish guy gives up his seat for an old lady... happiness escapes me--FAST. which is sort of weird considering my over-indulgent nature. i find something. always something. things that i couldn't care less about on the regular, that piss me off beyond repair (at least for the remaining days of these damn cramps.)

i go crazy. i'm moody. mean. couldn't care any less about the right thing to do or the best way to deal. in those moments, i experience the most contradicting emotions, that fight with each other while i fight with someone else.

i should just join some sort of fight club. for those hell-ish 5-7 days of emotional disorder.

all this ultimately leaves me looking pret-ty stupid. as if i know what i want to do, say, be... but can't shake off these annoying hormones. can't control myself. can't help myself. just can't. which is the dumbest excuse i think anyone can give cause i know what i need to overcome, i just haven't been brave or disciplined enough to stick with it every time.

so this is a big sorry to the people that i wake up late night and early morning & a huge freebie to punch me as hard as you want to my beautiful boyfriend who deals with way too much in such a short amount of time: when i bleed, i'm different. the things i say come from such a childish mind, just keep tabs, and i'll make it up to you once the floods have cleared.

<3 me :)

man,  i really gotta get back on track

i got 70% on my first anthropology test. AND 10% of that was lost from writing the WRONG LETTER in the WRONG SPACE for multiple choice. to add salt to the wound, he gave us the test beforehand to study, and i thought i was so ON POINT.

ive always hated multiple choice, people think its easier, but its always screwed me over some way or somehow, usually from having to choose between two right answers the "best" answer. or its just not my cup of tea. id rather right 750word essay tests... ya, those reaquire all brain, no trickery.

oh boy :(

i was gonna show my teacher my stupid mistake, but i dont want to. fair is fair, i dont want to scrape for marks & now i'm just deadset on acing my term paper. (maybe i'll check the answers on thursday just to make sure i'm not totally missing on the anthro know-how.)

i have three tests on thursday.

one more thing: the greatest tragedies occur when people shy away from greatness while life screams at them to shine. because God creates beauty, and no less. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COUSIN JANET!